That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Randomize