we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
