Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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