he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Holy shit dude........stairs
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
