i think my mom watched the whole time
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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