You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
too bad you live with your parents still
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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