beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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