would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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