I wanna passion pit in your ass
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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