I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
