people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
