after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
