Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
