so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
