Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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