I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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