You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
