A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
