Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize