Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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