Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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