One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
