He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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