i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize