I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
