At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Randomize
