omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
