if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
