I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
