im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
