Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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