he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
