@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize