So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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