Can i not drive my cunt home
I think I won the penis lottery.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Randomize
