After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize