Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
