if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
