are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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