I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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