I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
