All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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