Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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