Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize