I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Randomize
