Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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