We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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