Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Randomize
