I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
