I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
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