How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
My bed smells like the plague
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
