Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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