i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
