Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize