? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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