Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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