Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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