Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
