her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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