She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
