i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
