Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
