Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
