put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
