i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
