I wish I only lived at night.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
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