sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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