Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
