im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
