The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Randomize
