you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
