How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize