8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
My liver is preforming stress tests.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
