school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
