that's an acceptable place to lick
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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