Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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