don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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