I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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