can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
