There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
