i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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