the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
