ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
