Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
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